Remember Who You Are

In high school, I took a BASIC (computer language) programming course. The only way I made it through that class and passed, was due to my Dad helping me understand the logic. I remember receiving the assignments and feeling completely clueless. Once he wrote the program and explained his logic, I understood, but to my recollection - I never successfully wrote my own programs in that class. The only reason I passed was him writing the programs for me and thank G-d for an open book exam at the end of the class.

I realized then, somewhere in my early teen years, I was not made to be programmer. I would try again after I started working in I.T. almost 12 years ago. I was able to learn basic scripts, but anything more complicated confused me. As in everything else in life, I don't learn it the first time, I re-learn time and time again.

Yet again, I realized I was just not made to be a computer programmer. My Dad would say "I'm the Programmer" and he's (I’m) the Super User, and he was right. I would test his code and find where the breaks were, or where something didn't work as I thought it should. I realized my passion was not in programming, nor would it ever be. My passion is in helping others - and in this case, by being the Super End User that I am.
  
My Dad chose the American Cancer Society and the Relay for Life, and serving on its various committees, etc as his way of giving back. He wanted to show other cancer surivors that cancer was NOT a death sentence. He tried to prime me to take over his role on the Leadership team, but that was his passion, and unfortunately - not mine. He tried to show me what he did, but just as he is the computer programmer and I am not - it did not capture my passion.

Now, some 20 Months after my Dad has passed, I have, over time, come to the realization that to effectively carry on his legacy, I can't simply repeat his steps. I needed to find my own way to volunteer and give back.

Over this time, I've found my own ways to give back, and give others hope.

I've donated bone marrow twice, and I routinely choose to donate my platelets, generally once a month. I specifically chose platelets because his platelet counts were always low, and I am helping someone who is in a similar medical situation as he was. Helping them helps me. I was thrilled to find out one of the first times I donated that my blood type is a Universal Donor for Platelets, and any of the other blood types can accept my platelets.

I am not as involved in the Relay as we were when he was here, but still, we participate in his honor and memory each year, and I proudly take his place as the Team Captain now. I participate in my own way - not his. This year, I had the opportunity to submit a work of writing for a contest themed "Cancer Can, and Cancer Cannot" and I was one of 8 winners whose story was displayed at Relay.  I wrote, and I shared, my story. 

 
To my surprise and great honor, I was one of the eight winners leading the Survivor Lap. Wow! What a fantastic way to carry on my Dad's legacy and pay homage to him. Years ago, he lead the Survivor Lap as well.

My Dad let us know he was with us, by the young ladies singing Queen songs at Relay and that I kept hearing in the days after, to the yellow butterflies I seem to attract.

In the Lion King, In the Remember Who You Are scene, Mufasa (the Dad) relates:
"Look inside yourself, Simba. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the Circle of Life."

I have found and continue to work on establishing my place in the circle of life.

I have spoken on being a caregiver and after everything  I have gone through and learned as a result of losing my Dad, I hope to share with others, and I do, as much as I can.  

This is what I do.
This is who I am.

Let’s do this, Simba.