I originally wrote this in February 2017, but never posted it. Not really sure why - I haven't touched the post since then, but I have never pushed the send button to post it either. For whatever reason, I just hung on to it. Re-reading what I wrote below, I feel I was giving my future self some more advice and coping mechanisms. What I wrote seems even more fitting now.
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I am currently doing a 30 day gratefulness challenge, both on Instagram and Facebook, and the one on Instagram for today is "what song are you most grateful for"...Considering where I am at in life, and that gratefulness challenge for today - November 21 - It seemed like the right time to finally post and share this.
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The date was September 23, 1988.
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I am currently doing a 30 day gratefulness challenge, both on Instagram and Facebook, and the one on Instagram for today is "what song are you most grateful for"...Considering where I am at in life, and that gratefulness challenge for today - November 21 - It seemed like the right time to finally post and share this.
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The date was September 23, 1988.
My Mom had dropped me off in the parking lot of our apartment on Abbington Drive.
The song playing in the car was "Stand By Me"
"When the night has come
And the night is dark
And the moon is the only light we'll see
No I won't be afraid
Oh, I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand, stand by me"
But I was afraid. We had just left the hospital, and my Dad. I had heard the words that my Dad had cancer. As I entered the courtyard, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I started bawling Today, I can listen to the song without crying, but when I hear it, I associate it to that event, or to the movie "Stand By Me" - one of my favorites.
Coincidentally, at the ceremony where Dad received his Sunbeam Award from the City of Chandler earlier this week, the song was played as well, which was quite comforting in spite of the memories it holds for me.
The following day, Friday, Feb 10, Dad wrote this:
28 years ago on this date, Feb 10, 1989 having completed 28 chemo treatments and 12 radiation treatments I was declared in remission from my first cancer, non-Hodgkin lymphoma. Today I will complete chemo treatment #275 for my second cancer, Myelodysplastic syndrome. It is time to celebrate.
Coincidentally, at the ceremony where Dad received his Sunbeam Award from the City of Chandler earlier this week, the song was played as well, which was quite comforting in spite of the memories it holds for me.
The following day, Friday, Feb 10, Dad wrote this:
28 years ago on this date, Feb 10, 1989 having completed 28 chemo treatments and 12 radiation treatments I was declared in remission from my first cancer, non-Hodgkin lymphoma. Today I will complete chemo treatment #275 for my second cancer, Myelodysplastic syndrome. It is time to celebrate.
It was a memorable week in many regards, but, I digress.
When I'm really struggling with something, I go old school and listen to "Ooh Ooh Child" by the Five Stairsteps because I find It helpful, but most of all, inspiring:
Ooh-oo child
Things are gonna get easier
Ooh-oo child
Things'll get brighter
Ooh-oo child
Things are gonna get easier
Ooh-oo child
Things'll get brighter
Some day, yeah
Things are gonna get easier
Ooh-oo child
Things'll get brighter
Ooh-oo child
Things are gonna get easier
Ooh-oo child
Things'll get brighter
Some day, yeah
Another song I like during challenging times is "I'll Be There" by the Jackson Five which serves a similar purpose:
Just call my name and I'll be there
And oh, I'll be there to comfort you,
I'll be your strength, I'll keep holding on
Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter
Togetherness, well that's all I'm after
Whenever you need me, I'll be there
I'll be there to protect you,
Just call my name and I'll be there
Thinking about this post on the way to work this morning, "Cool Night" by Paul Davis played on the radio, and like the other songs in this post, it took me back to circa 1981 or 1982, when we were living in the hotel for a few months before our house in Toms River was built. I could practically see the outside of the hotel, remembering how cold the room was during the winter months - all because of a few chords in a song.
1994 was a year of great celebration but also upheaval. Changes at my Dad's work. Leaving New Jersey for soon to be New Mexico for school.
As a parting NJ gift, my Mom took me to two concerts in New York City:
Bette Midler at Radio City Music Hall and Barbra Joan at Madison Square Garden.
The two songs that really stick out from that performance:
"Not While I'm Around" which is a song Barbra wrote to her son which I've always loved.
During the performance, pictures of her and her son played on screen:
Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around
Nothing's gonna harm you, no sir, not while I'm around
Demons are prowling everywhere nowadays
I'll send them howling, I don't care, I got ways
No one's gonna hurt you, no one's gonna dare
Others can desert you not to worry, whistle, I'll be there
Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while but in time
Nothing can harm you, not while I'm around
and "Somewhere," which was the finale song of the concert.
Things were incredibly up in the air and unknown at that time in our lives.
The song called out to both my Mother and myself..We both cried, but we both snuck looks at each other, trying to hide our tears, and then we both laughed.
Someday
Somewhere
We'll find a new way of living,
We'll find a way of forgiving
Somewhere
There's a place for us
I transferred to NMSU in Fall 1994 and stayed there for the rest of my college years, until I graduated.
Just call my name and I'll be there
And oh, I'll be there to comfort you,
I'll be your strength, I'll keep holding on
Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter
Togetherness, well that's all I'm after
Whenever you need me, I'll be there
I'll be there to protect you,
Just call my name and I'll be there
Thinking about this post on the way to work this morning, "Cool Night" by Paul Davis played on the radio, and like the other songs in this post, it took me back to circa 1981 or 1982, when we were living in the hotel for a few months before our house in Toms River was built. I could practically see the outside of the hotel, remembering how cold the room was during the winter months - all because of a few chords in a song.
Jumping ahead to Fall of 1992, my first semester of college out of high school, away from NJ and in MD. "All I Want" by Toad the Wet Sprocket was not only played incessantly on the radio, but is instantly synonymous with that period of my life, and takes me back to the fond memories of Towson State College, dining halls, the dorms, and watching St Elmo's Fire during Movie Nights and thinking that's what our lives would be like in the "Real World"...Not to mention beer becoming my drink of choice...
All I want is to feel this way
To be this close, to feel the same
All I want is to feel this way
The evening speaks, hear it say
1994 was a year of great celebration but also upheaval. Changes at my Dad's work. Leaving New Jersey for soon to be New Mexico for school.
As a parting NJ gift, my Mom took me to two concerts in New York City:
Bette Midler at Radio City Music Hall and Barbra Joan at Madison Square Garden.
The two songs that really stick out from that performance:
"Not While I'm Around" which is a song Barbra wrote to her son which I've always loved.
During the performance, pictures of her and her son played on screen:
Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around
Nothing's gonna harm you, no sir, not while I'm around
Demons are prowling everywhere nowadays
I'll send them howling, I don't care, I got ways
No one's gonna hurt you, no one's gonna dare
Others can desert you not to worry, whistle, I'll be there
Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while but in time
Nothing can harm you, not while I'm around
and "Somewhere," which was the finale song of the concert.
Things were incredibly up in the air and unknown at that time in our lives.
The song called out to both my Mother and myself..We both cried, but we both snuck looks at each other, trying to hide our tears, and then we both laughed.
Someday
Somewhere
We'll find a new way of living,
We'll find a way of forgiving
Somewhere
There's a place for us
I transferred to NMSU in Fall 1994 and stayed there for the rest of my college years, until I graduated.
My Aunt, Uncle, and cousins lived in El Paso nearby from school, as did my Grandmother. I had a mix tape with "That's All I Ask of You" by Barbra Streisand, which I played on the drive back and forth and was pretty much perfectly timed for the 45 minute drive each way. To this day, when I hear the song it evokes memories of the dairy farms I would pass on the way.
My BFF in college and I loved to dance to Ace of Base in the clubs we frequented, so that's what Ace of Base songs mean to me, songs like "The Sign" and "Bautiful Life"
It's a beautiful life, oh oh oh oh
It's a beautiful life, oh oh oh oh
It's a beautiful life, oh oh oh oh
I just want to be here beside you
And stay until the break of dawn
It's a beautiful life, oh oh oh oh
It's a beautiful life, oh oh oh oh
I just want to be here beside you
And stay until the break of dawn
And oh what a beautiful life it was!
I graduated in 1997 and started working in hotels. My first job out of school,
"Barbie Girl" by Aqua and "Criminal" by Fiona Apple were both popular at the time.
"I've done wrong and I want to suffer for my sins
I've come to you 'cause I need guidance to be true
And I just don't know where I can begin.
What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed"
(I would only truly understand these lyrics years later)
When I was hired by America West in 2000 and sent to Phoenix for training, "Coyote Ugly" was released and I remember seeing it in the theater with a few of my classmates.
Its no coincidence I like to visit the Coyote Ugly in Vegas so I can pretend and and feel young again!
When my parents and I make our semi-annual roadtrips to El Paso, our running joke is it's not an official roadtrip until we cue "Holiday Road" by Lindsey Buckingham (also the theme to the National Lampoon's Vacation series movies)
I found out long ago
It's a long way down the holiday road
7 Hours to El Paso and being held hostage with my Father's XM Radio Stations is indeed the definition of a long way down the holiday road! But..the older I get, the more I appreciate the car trips as not only additional time to spend together with loved ones and make new memories, but as an escape for a few hours from normal life.
All through the years, I've associated certain songs with timeframes or events in my life, like I did above. I look to music to help, to inspire, to not feel alone, to share in my sadness, my misery, or for something uplifting when needed.
Perhaps the most intuitive of all is the lyric I have adopted as my motto since high school:
"This is the Time" by Billy Joel
This is the time to remember
Cause it will not last forever
These are the days
To hold on to
Cause we won't
Although we'll want to
Music ties my emotions not only to my heart, but to different events throughout my life.
Modifying a quote from Mr. Holland's Opus:
"These songs are my symphony.
These are the melodies and notes of my opus.
This is the music of my life"
I graduated in 1997 and started working in hotels. My first job out of school,
"Barbie Girl" by Aqua and "Criminal" by Fiona Apple were both popular at the time.
"I've done wrong and I want to suffer for my sins
I've come to you 'cause I need guidance to be true
And I just don't know where I can begin.
What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed"
(I would only truly understand these lyrics years later)
When I was hired by America West in 2000 and sent to Phoenix for training, "Coyote Ugly" was released and I remember seeing it in the theater with a few of my classmates.
Its no coincidence I like to visit the Coyote Ugly in Vegas so I can pretend and and feel young again!
When my parents and I make our semi-annual roadtrips to El Paso, our running joke is it's not an official roadtrip until we cue "Holiday Road" by Lindsey Buckingham (also the theme to the National Lampoon's Vacation series movies)
I found out long ago
It's a long way down the holiday road
7 Hours to El Paso and being held hostage with my Father's XM Radio Stations is indeed the definition of a long way down the holiday road! But..the older I get, the more I appreciate the car trips as not only additional time to spend together with loved ones and make new memories, but as an escape for a few hours from normal life.
All through the years, I've associated certain songs with timeframes or events in my life, like I did above. I look to music to help, to inspire, to not feel alone, to share in my sadness, my misery, or for something uplifting when needed.
Perhaps the most intuitive of all is the lyric I have adopted as my motto since high school:
"This is the Time" by Billy Joel
This is the time to remember
Cause it will not last forever
These are the days
To hold on to
Cause we won't
Although we'll want to
Music ties my emotions not only to my heart, but to different events throughout my life.
Modifying a quote from Mr. Holland's Opus:
"These songs are my symphony.
These are the melodies and notes of my opus.
This is the music of my life"
