I have been a caregiver for my parents for many years. As an only child, on some level I felt it was my duty to take care of them in their later years, just as they took care of me in my earlier ones. I guess I kind of took it for granted in that I expected it of myself, and I figure that others feel the same..even though I realize not everyone does.
Time and time again, as my Dad aged, and I see my response now with with my Mom and what she requires, I did what is needed to keep them healthy, act as chauffeur to doctors appointments and such. When Dad needed to go to Tucson to a Relay Meeting or an event, or whatever, I rearranged my schedule to take him. I didn't see it as an imposition.
I also (and still do this) do my best not to involve others. Only Child and a touch of Martyr Syndrome. I don't want anyone else to feel the pressure I do, so I keep it to myself and just absorb whatever is required as a normal part of my day. I don't mind. It provides me extra time with each of them, and both of them generally work around my work schedule for their appointments.
Anyhow, that's the backstory. A few years ago, in the mail was a card from one of my Dad's (and my) friend after one such time when I had driven him somewhere. It was a Thank You note, and stated something to the effect of "Thank you for everything you do for your Dad and our group. No one will ever know just how much you do to get him where he needs to be without anyone else knowing how much you went through"
It meant so much, in that moment, and even now..probably 5 years later. I kept the note in with my keepsakes and pictures. Caregiving is so rewarding but so hard at times, and the fact that someone else noticed what I did without me realizing it, and took the time to reach out to me, warmed my heart. Still does.
It was, and is, one of those little things that is indeed, a big thing.
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