Last Week, my Father fought a cough/sore throat for a few days. After a few days of nagging by both me and my mother, he came to the same conclusion that he needed to be seen by a Doctor.
Black Friday Morning, he made an appointment at the Walgreens Clinic for the afternoon hours. I've used the CVS clinic before, so I suggested we go there to see if he could be get in to see someone, asap. So off we went. Because of the extensive medical history my Father has, they referred us to the next level - the ER or hospital-affiliated Urgent Care Clinic. They were afraid to mis-treat him, and thought he should have an x-ray just to make sure there was nothing seriously going on in his lungs, other than what's already there.
So, off we went again. This time, though, we tried a new place that CVS recommended - the Stand Alone ER. Its a fully functioning ER, but not attached to a hospital. We were thrilled with the service we received there and the expedience with which Dad was served. When they said they were going to take him for his xray, I left to use the bathroom and he was back before I got back. Totally unlike everytime he's been in the hospital when they take him and its a couple of hours before we see him again.
At any rate, most or all of you know by now, he was diagnosed with Bronchitis, treated with antibiotics, and the Xray showed nothing - no pneumonia, etc.
While we were waiting for the paperwork to be finished and to be released, we talked, and I could literally tell the minute they said "not pneumonia" I saw my Father's entire demeanor change. It was like seeing the stress just fly right out of his body thru his head. He still didn't feel well, but the change was amazing to witness. It was a huge sigh of relief on all our parts.
Breathe. Relax. Repeat.
I, too, felt that same change to a lesser degree.
It reminds me of basically every time we see Dr. Kellogg, the Chemo Dr, or Dr. Javadpoor, the Pulmonologist (Lung Dr). Whenever its "NOT CANCER" its cause for celebration and party time. While for most people, Bronchitis is not optimal, and its even less optimal for my Father with his history, that didn't matter. NOT PNEUMONIA was reason to celebrate. NOT ANYTHING WORSE was reason to party and relax and Thank G-d for yet another chance.
This pattern routinely repeats itself. Everytime we see one of the doctors. Everytime we have a cancer scare. YAY, Valley Fever. YAY, anything except cancer.
The past 27 years of history where Cancer has whispered, muttered, and practically yelled at times, has really changed each of our perspectives. I think it has for anyone who has heard those words, or been witness/caregiver to a family member or friend who has heard them.
Suddenly, Valley Fever or Bronchitis don't seem so bad anymore. Because it's not the C word. Its "Not Cancer." Its like seeing the advice my Dad gave me years ago, and continues to impress upon me in action "Don't let the little shit get to you, and its all little shit..." Well, Case in point.
Your perspective changes after cancer enters your life. Dad posted a similar status on Facebook recently, and one of the comments from our good friend Kathy was:
I remember reading back in 2006 that once you are told you have cancer your life ends and a new one starts where cancer is ALWAYS present. It's the first thing you think of when you cough, when you feel a lump, when you feel tired. I hate hate hate that it's always present in the front of your mind. I have a good friend who had colon cancer 30 years ago. She was very young and they almost didn't discover it until it was too late because she did not fit the profile. Needless the say, the radiation and chemo left her intestines a little on the finicky side and to this day EVERY TIME she has a intestine issue it's the absolute first thing she thinks of.
Even though going to some of these doctors scares me, like the Pulmonologist, (even though I love him because of his bedside manner), because he's the one that sent us to the hospital for the lung procedures a few months ago.
Like everytime we begin a new round of chemo and I pray for good numbers and not a drop in the numbers.
Even my own doctors scare me, I think, because I have an unfounded fear of hearing the word cancer yet another time.
When all is said and done, a day when you don't hear cancer is indeed a reason to celebrate.
