I haven't updated in quite some time. My good friend Jennifer who is on her own journey convinced me that updating my blog more might help :-)
I feel like I struggle more recently than I have since I began trying to lose weight.
I struggled, and overcame, being morbidly obese.
I struggled, and overcame, figuring out how to maintain my weight loss and how to relax in my eating habits and not be quite so restricted all the time.
And lately, it seems I struggle more in other areas - Being more emotional, feeling the "highs and lows" more, mood swings, things bothering me and "getting to me" more than they used to pre-weight loss. Some times I feel fine and happy..and some times, I just don't.
Part of me thinks it can definitely be tied to an increase in the amount of sweets (cookies, etc) I allow myself to have now as compared to the my 1st 6 months of Weight Loss when I completely cut them off. In some ways, I was better off then. Although I craved sweets, it was the sweet of fruit (apples, strawberries, etc) that I craved - not cookies or donuts.
The healthier I eat, the better I feel..so after a weekend bender of sweets (for the past few weekends), I find my body craves the veggies and healthier foods that I try to stick to during the week. Its a testament to the well oiled machine my body has become over the past 14 months, that I can not only "take off" on the weekends, and return to healthier habits during the week (something I never thought was possible) but I can take in (guiltily) a bunch of cookies or cupcakes and still be within a few pounds of what I consider my ideal weight.
What I've discovered is that as long as I keep the door closed, I am fine..but once I "open it" I have trouble closing it. One cookie just doesnt do it..I always want more..Until I reach the point where I yell at myself and say ENOUGH! Thank god for the metabolism I have now.
Obviously, I have self control or I would not have made it this far. But in relaxing, there are times my self control just goes right out the window.
I guess I was naive and I thought once I lost my weight and figured out how to keep it off, that my days of struggling would be less and less. But Weight Loss, and its after effects, are a life long struggle. New struggles replace old ones.
What I think it all comes down to is, I was always able to hide (mask) my emotions behind my weight, and after a bad day or frustrating or stressful situation feeding my body no longer does what it used to. That doesnt work anymore for the New Me. The New Me needs to deal with the emotions and feelings head on, instead of burying my head in some cookies.
